Without Her
by They Named Me After The BadGuy
Summary: This was a one shot i wrote about the year Clark spent without Lois before she reappeared in the Kent barn under the red sun. Season 9 kinda but in the Pandora world.


We all remember how in Season 9 Lois returned form being transported a year into the future by the Legion Ring. Well I wrote a little one shot about how Clark tried to get his mind off of Lois for the year he thought he had lost her.

Clark lay oh his side staring out the window. He had been bringing a different girl home form a different bar now every night for the past 2 weeks. He would sleep with them once, keep their number but not give them his and then never call them back. He didn't want these girls. But they filled his time. He was fighting a loosing battle. He had turned away from everyone since he had lost her. He had even turned from the Blur almost completely.

Bridgette was a Brunette with green eyes and a satisfying body. It was nothing like Hers though. Bridgette was the only girl he had been with more than once since he decided to drown his sorrows in women. Clark was engulfed in sex these days. But Something about Bridgette reminded him of Her. So he called Bridgette back 3 times now.

Bridgette woke up and wrapped her arms around Clarks solid body. She pulled on his shoulder making him face her. She knew he didn't love her. She knew she was just his way of getting drunk. She had heard him say Her name while he slept.

"Clark, who was she?" Clark was a little surprised by the question.

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"The one you are thinking about when you're with me? I'm not stupid. I know I'm just a relief and that this isn't real. When me make love you don't look into my eyes. You look in my direction but not at me. Who is it you are seeing? I'm not mad. I just want to know, because I don't want to trick myself." Clark was taken aback by the honesty. She had pulled herself closer to him than she was sure she was allowed to be, but she thought it was worth the risk. _He doesn't have to love me, I just want the truth._

_As she spoke, Clark wore the same beautiful expression he always wore when he was surprised. He scowled and then raised his brows, the way he did when he would use his x-ray vision to uncover some dangerous secret._

"_Who was she Clark?"_

_Clark breathed deeply, it hurt him to think of Her. It hurt more than anything else. Those Kryptonite Bullets, or arrows. More than losing his father, more than losing Lana. Being responsible for Jimmy's death. More than losing his friendship with Lex. Impenetrable or not, Clark had lived through more pain than any one, Human or Kryptonian should ever have to. But nothing ever hurt him as much as losing her. "Lois. Her name was Lois."_

"_Was she beautiful?"_

"_She was more than beautiful, she had a confidence that brought me to life out of some sort of sleep walk. That's all I did before her. I was walking through life, not even with my eyes open. She opened up the world for me. With her I guess my world got a little brighter."_

"_What was she like?" Bridgette knew she paled in comparison to his Lois. But she could at least help him._

"_She was like a cool drink of water after a long day in the dessert. Like a little light in only darkness. She brought something to me that I never found before or after. I met her when I was 17, I guess I didn't know what I had in her." Clark was reminiscent._

"_You loved her. Maybe even more than that. If there is such a thing. What happened?" Bridgette didn't know if she was crossing some sort of line, she knew she was straddling it though._

"_I made some mistakes and I hurt a lot of people. She died." At least that was the conclusion he had reached. She had disappeared and he blamed himself. He knew it was his fault. And even if it wasn't he knew he had to take the responsibility. "I thought I could make it without her. But it's like trying to make it through life without a soul. I'm not who I was. I haven't smiled in months. I can't look around without looking for her."_

"_Clark, I know I will never be her, but I can always be here. If you ever need to see her, I would like to help you as much as I can. Not for my own pleasure, but I just don't want you to hurt. Not anymore than it already does. I just needed to hear you say it." Bridgette moved her body tightly against Clark's chest. _

"_Thank you." Clark pushed Bridgette's hair behind her ear before rolling over to drown out his sorrows again._


End file.
